Shy of Reading

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Moderator: Teddy Dupont

Shy of Reading

Postby Teddy Dupont » Thu Jul 05, 2007 12:12 pm

Here is a rather heart-rending PM I received:-

Dear Sir,

I am one of those unfortunate people who started losing their hair when they were 12. For the last 47 years I have had to suffer insults and derision, mainly from my parents, about my glistening, bald pate. The problem has perhaps been made worse by the rather odd shape of my head (have you ever seen the "Gherkin" building in London?).

A few months ago I decided to take the plunge and contacted William Shatner's wig maker, the crême de la crême of postiche artists requesting the most realistic but trendy and ecologically friendly hair piece he could create. After much discussion and numerous fittings, he has produced a masterpiece for me. But to be absolutely sure I will not look like a complete prat when I first wear it, I would like you to give me your opinion as I know you are a bit of a dandy-cock.

Shy of Reading


My dear Shy, absolutely incredible!!! I would never have realised that was a wig had you not told me. To quote from William Wordsworth "Go out there and give it some, my son!". Babik would have been proud of you.
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Postby Caballero » Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:10 pm

Hmmm...the wonders of the wig have also taken attention away from the sagging jowels and the 'more chins than the Peking telephone directory' look.
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Postby Phydeaux3 » Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:24 pm

Dear Sir
I am absolutely outraged by comments made in this thread.
The unfunny humour made by Cabellero at the expense of our Chinese friends is bad enough, but to suggest that the GOD that is William Shatner wears a syrup is damn right blasphemous!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours
Outraged at Valdez
Alors! Un, deux...
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Postby Cattermole » Thu Jul 05, 2007 3:59 pm

When I read the thread heading I thought it was going to be about dyslexia.
"...somebody correct me please if i have said bullshits"
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Postby Zoot » Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:09 pm

To be honest I think that chap looks dandy. Nothing wrong there
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Postby Teddy Dupont » Fri Jul 20, 2007 11:28 am

Another missive from Shy:-

Hello Again Doc,

Thanks so much for the advice. Everywhere I went, people gazed at me in wonderment. I was suddenly the centre of attention. My whole life has changed.

Worryingly, a couple of weeks ago, I felt so tired as a result of all this attention, I went to bed for 4 days and when I finally got up, I found a mouse and two dung beetles has nested in my beloved tonsorial gem. It was obviously still wearable but I did not want to disturb the little beauties so I decided to go to my local wig maker Jay Arthur to get a quick replacement. Jay Arthur specialises in quickies.

The result, which he produced in under 30 minutes, is quite stunning as you can see. I am now so confident in my appearance that I spent most of my time chilling out in cool places like "Starbucks", "Caffe Nero" and "Cafe Revive" in M&S with the intellegentsia of Reading. I no longer feel myself anymore.

Thanks for all your help.

No Longer Shy of Reading


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Words simply fail me. A masterpiece. I get such a warm feeling when I know I have been able to help a poor sad, lonely soul like yourself in this way.
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Postby Caballero » Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:53 pm

Ha Ha Pube head.
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