You are all clearly out of your feckin' minds.........

Exactly what it says on the tin

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You are all clearly out of your feckin' minds.........

Postby Andi » Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:43 am

So here goes..........

Half a pound of kiddelies, please...........

Surely you mean kidneys, sir........

Well, pardle me, but I did say kiddelies, diddle I?

Or.........

Man walking walking down street and voice booms out of heavens.........

IF YOU WISH TO JOIN ME IN THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, MY SON, YOU WILL HAVE TO IMMEDIATELY ABSTAIN FROM CIGARETTES, ALCOHOL AND SEX......

Whaaaa?

One month later voice booms from heavens.....

WELL, MY SON...........HOW DID YOU MANAGE WITH THE TASKS I SET YOU?

Well God, the alcohol was a breeze, gave it up there and then and, if I'm honest, I'm feeeling a bit better on it........

VERY GOOD........AND THE CIGARETTES.........?

Well, that was a bit tricky.....I was dancing around cutting down and patches and ......well, to cut a long story short, it took me a while but I've been off 'em for two and a half weeks.

EXCELLENT......EXCELLENT......AND THE SEX?

Well, God, I've been very weak, very weak.....repeatedly actually......
For example, just yesterday, my wife was bending over the freezer lifting out a joint of beef for the Sunday dinner and......well........you should know......you created her.........I couldn't help myself.........I just closed in and gave her a good seeing to............from behind...........

HHHMPPFFF HARRUMPFHH, I DON'T KNOW IF I'D APPROVE OF THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOUR IN THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, MY SON....

Tell me about it.....they weren't too pleased in Tescos either.
Schhwiingggg!!!
Andi
 
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